I’ve been thinking a lot about us these past couple of weeks during break. I lay in bed or sit on the chair and been filling my head with such great thoughts. I got the feeling that you and I will have a nice future together. There’s no greater feeling than this. So many chills have been going through my body, the vibe I get when we’re together, our stories tell each other bit by bit of past events in our life, your soothing hands held by my own. The only thing I really wish for is during the days we hang out alone, we have more time. What do I do in the short time? I savor our time together, making every moment last.
Lady 1 (July 2010-March 2011):
What would have happened if we never broke up? What would have happened if we never even got together? What would have happened if we stayed good friends? What if we never got to talking again as friends?
Lady 2 (May 2011-End of Summer 2011):
What if we never met that day in May? What if I never had the confidence to talk to you? What would have happened if we ever got together?
Lady 3 (Mid Summer 2011-October 2011):
What if we never met at my partner in crime’s party back in April? What if I never had the confidence to ask you out on that date in July? What would have happened if we went out on the date we were trying to set up?
Lady 4 (October 2011-Now):
What if you never said hi to me at school during our same P.E. period randomly that one day? What if we never said that we both liked each other? What if we never got together because of our age difference?
All those questions are get to me every now and then, but it doesn’t really matter much now. I’d like to get myself back to what’s happening right now.
This was my growing up year. It was interesting.
January - Late April: This was about the time where things started to break down for me. I was pretty much isolating myself. I had gone through a break-up, I pushed myself away from my family, I started to do horrible in school. I became a true mess.
Late April - Mid-September: I told to myself this one weekend, “What the fuck am I doing? I’M SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKIN’ HAPPY!” Then everything changed. It was a major adventure. Once I got finished with school, It was straight up awesome. I saw some family I haven’t seen in years, I got to see the homies, met a bunch of new people, gained confidence in asking girls out, partied for the first time, started drinking for the first time, did hookah for the first time, almost got in trouble with the cops for the first time. I was just so lively. I was happy. I got closer with my oldest cousin and some other family members. I even got high for the first time and it was pretty good. The summer was just amazing. So much to explain in such little time.
Late September - Now: School is a drag, I’ve been really MIA with friends outside of school, playing video games like a boss, barely get any homework, got Saturday school for the first time (but that shit was pretty fun), but aside from that, I am back in the dating scene and now I have a girlfriend and I’m getting closer to my youngest uncle and oldest cousin. This was a good way to end the year.
At this point, I’m content. Nothing extremely great and nothing extremely horrible.